The Friday Ten: Ten dream (and incredibly unlikely) E3 announcements

10 mins read

We’re going a little bit silly with this week’s list, but for many people Fallout 4’s announcement this week has already made E3 2015 one of the best without the show even starting. I figured we could do a completely random list of dream announcements for E3 this year that would get us very, very excited.

There’s no real rationalle behind any of these announcements on the list, nor is there any real probability of any actually happening. In fact I’d be incredibly surprised if any of them did happen. Surprised to the point of a heart attack, most likely. And if I survived that I would then officially change my name to “Oracle Matt.”

Are there any particular announcements that would make you happy at E3 this year? Be sure to let us know in the comments!

Sony announces the PlayStation Portable 2

With a Sony executive calling the PlayStation Vita a “legacy” platform, that means Sony has moved on from the device (as disappointing as that is, and despite there still being plenty of third party support on the way yet). But does that mean Sony is giving up on handheld consoles? We hope not because while Sony’s handheld business hasn’t unseated Nintendo, it has been a healthy success (particularly in Japan). But that means Sony can’t be far away from announcing a new PlayStation handheld device. So, why not the PSP 2 and why not E3?

What will the next model look like?

Final Fantasy XII HD Remaster

With the commercial and critical success of the HD remaster of Final Fantasy X and X-2, it would make a great deal of sense for Square Enix to remake its other PlayStation 2 classic, Final Fantasy XII, for the HD consoles as well. Thanks to the Classics platforms on the PSP/Vita and PlayStation 3, and iOS or Android remakes of earlier games, Final Fantasy XII is actually one of the most difficult games in the series to source and play these days, so hopefully Square Enix realises that there are a lot of fans for that game out there.

Dead or Alive Beach Volleyball returns

People like to tear this Dead or Alive spinoff series a new one, on account of it being all about girls in bikinis playing minigames. But the thing is that there was some real potential in some of those minigames; and with some work on the volleyball mechanics, Koei Tecmo could turn this series into a fanservicey-but-fun bit of casual entertainment for Dead or Alive fans.

Hatsune Miku RPG 

In Japan Hatsune Miku has a couple of different games, including a really entertaining little casual free-to-play JRPG. But imagine if a developer like, say, Gust, was to develop a Hatsune Miku game in the style of its Atelier or Ar Tonelico games? The anime style of the character translates over well as an anime heroine, and Gust has proven that it knows how to take a concept like music and build a full JRPG around it. And Miku fans would go nuts for that. It won’t happen, but boy would we like for it to happen.

No idea what this is, but I’d take it!

Nintendo shows off the NX

We already know the NX is coming, but it’s unlikely Nintendo will show off the NX when it’s looking to eke out a last year or so of the Wii U. But it would be great if Nintendo showed the console off nonetheless, because it’s the best chance of seeing some really interesting hardware announcements this year. My personal bet is that the NX will be a handheld console that can stream to the TV for some home TV play, combining the best that Nintendo offers into one focused bit of hardware. With Nintendo struggling to get real third party support on board with its consoles at the moment, that might just be the jab in the arm it needs.

Final Fantasy XIII Remaster Collection

While we’re on the topic of Final Fantasy, Square Enix’s Final Fantasy XIII trilogy was a polarising one to say the least, but I absolutely loved each game in the series, and for very different reasons. Final Fantasy XIII had a great cast of characters, XIII-2 had the most interesting take on an excellent combat system, and Lightning Returns was absolutely intelligent game that may well go down as the most underappreciated in the entire series. If Square Enix were to scrub them up just a touch for the PlayStation 4 and Xbox One, and throw them into a single package, it would be a hell of a package to buy into.

Yuko Taro announces something. Anything. 

Yuko Taro doesn’t have the brand name that Miyamoto does, but as an arteur, he’s someone worth paying real attention to. Taro is the mind behind the Drakengard and Nier franchises, and those games are nothing short of brilliant. With a style that is both subversive and humorous, edgy and unique, each of this man’s games are darkly beautiful masterpieces, as subtle as they are deep. Whatever project he takes on next, you can be sure it’s going to be one that is going to get me very, very excited indeed.

King’s Field makes a return

There are rumours abound that E3 will bring with it the announcement of a Dark Souls 3. And for fans of the series that will be no doubt welcomed with open arms, but I would personally love to see From Software go right back to the Souls series before even Demon’s Souls. King’s Field on the PlayStation and PlayStation 2 was everything I loved about the Souls games in their most pure form – intricate dungeon designs, an incredibly unforgiving difficult curve, and a dark, obscure, and gothic narrative. It’s high time From Software brought the original (and still the best) back.

Lollipop Chainsaw gets a sequel 

Goichi Suda doesn’t really like making sequels, and he’s busy working on the really interesting Let It Die project. And on top of that the writer of the original Lollipop Chainsaw, James Gunn, is kinda busy working on that little Defenders of the Universe film franchise. But despite all this I hold out hope that one day we’ll have a new Lollipop Chainsaw game. The original was so brutally misunderstood that perhaps, just perhaps, a second crack at it would see both it, and the original, treated fairly.

A new Itadaki Street would be awesome, thanks!

As you can see, I’m rather hoping that Square Enix has a massive E3 this year. Itadaki Street might be better known to you as Boom Street, or Fortune Street, depending on where you live in the English-speaking world. That game was a Monopoly-style board game starring Nintendo and Dragon Quest characters on the Nintendo Wii, but the broader Itadaki Street franchise stretches back many years and has all kinds of character crossovers (the PlayStation Final Fantasy Chocobo-themed one was a favourite). It’s been a long time since the last game in this series was released (and there it was a fairly inexpensive iPhone title), and it would be great to have a new game on the PlayStation 4.

So, are there any complete dream E3 announcements that you have you running down the street in the nude cheering madly? Let us know in the comments!

– Matt S. 
Find me on Twitter: @digitallydownld

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