Because I'm primarily a console gamer, when I viewed a PC Let's Play video of Shadow Warrior and its amusing, sardonic swordsman Lo Wang as he segregated humiliated limbs from arrogant torsos, I was crestfallen. "When do I get to pwaaay?" I childishly asked, pink pacifier dangling from my chapped bottom lip. But now that Lo Wang is parrying a path to the PS4 and Xbox One this fall, I and others will be made privy to his tongue-in-cheek antics.
If you've never heard of or have remained wilfully ignorant of Shadow Warrior and its laugh-inducing protagonist, allow me to throw you a gist of what you're in for: Lo Wang, a katana twirling, one-liner chewing assassin, is sent on a mission by Orochi Zilla to acquire an ancient sword for $2 million dollars. When the foolish seller refuses to strike a deal, Lo Wang attempts to take the sword by the skill of his egotistical gun-play and swordsmanship, which leads to his capture and immediate escape, thanks to a partnership he makes with a masked demon named Hoji after a horde of demons ambush the compound.
Hoji, presumably tempted to slap a Wang.
There are special powers, skills, customizable weapons, 17 chapters that will have you eviscerating from the gardens of Kyoto to the pits of the Shadow Realm, and a game engine that is said to run at 1080p at 60 FPS - but the true draw for this adventure is without a smelly doubt the swordplay: the PS4 version incorporates the touch-pad, where swiping a single digit across its surface prompts Lo Wang to swipe his steel at anything dimwitted enough to leap for his sunglasses.
Oh, that divine music! I've heard mostly good things (that it has fun old-school FPS game-play made better by swordplay) about the PC version of the game, and it certainly appears entertaining (if you appreciate loads of irreverence in your titles).
No definitive release date for Shadow Warrior on the PS4 and Xbox One has been confirmed, but my guess is that it should be out before the end of October.
Send me your best Lo Wang pun at: email@example.com
Become privy to my tongue-in-cheek antics at: twitch.tv/the_major1219